


Memento Mori

by HostJanus



Category: Idlewild Series - Nick Sagan
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Gen, Hallucinations, Male-Female Friendship, Narcotics, Not Canon Compliant, Overdosing, Platonic Soulmates, Rescue, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 09:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10434675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HostJanus/pseuds/HostJanus
Summary: Fantasia drags Hal back from the dead and they unwillingly bond. Set shortly after the end of Idlewild. Lotsa references.





	

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fantasia drags Hal back from the dead and they unwillingly bond. Set shortly after the end of the first book. Themes of suicide, addiction, self-loathing, grief, and some light descriptions of medical procedures.

     I clutched the bottle of pills with shaking fingers, struggling to keep my balance against the swaying of the floor. I finally slid down the wall onto the peeling linoleum. I hadn’t planned it to be in here, but I was glad that was where I’d ended up. Now I can know what it feels like to die on a bathroom floor. Now I can really understand what I did.

     I struggled to undo the lid with my heavy limbs The light green oxycontin tablets trickled into the palm of my hand. “Time to go home to hell,” I sang to myself as I counted them out. Ten left, 20 milligrams each. I named the first pill Lazarus. Only fair that my first enemy had a part in this. After him came Ty, my brilliant, energetic, intense friend, the closest thing I’d ever had to an older brother. I swallowed Merc next, figuring he deserved one last shot at putting me out of my misery.

     Simone didn’t believe in the death penalty, but she would take a vote and go with the majority.  
  
     The majority said bang.

     I chewed on myself, recoiling at the awful taste they implanted so kids wouldn’t play with Mom’s meds. No kids to deter now, just one repulsive bastard to punish. I knew this would be enough on top of what I’d already had, but took the remaining five nevertheless. They were dead too, dead anyway.

     Having done the deed, I leaned my head against the corner and waited. Lethargic tears streamed down my face. I vainly wished my mom was here to hold my hand, like the last time I was in between worlds. I was less scared now than I was on my first day of IVR - I attributed that to the opiates - but I was still scared. I tried to picture my parents next to me, stroking my hair and telling me how brave I was being, telling me I was doing the right thing. My thoughts turned to reuniting with my departed friends, but my fevered mind turned their smiles into snarls and open arms into curled fists. They couldn’t wait to get to me. I gave a fearful sob, hallucinating Tyler crouching down to me with a kitchen knife. “Life is but a dream,” he sang, his bared teeth sharpening to interlocked points.

. . .

     I slouched entirely onto the floor a few minutes later, feeling my body be submerged by warm static. I let my eyes flicker shut and surrendered myself. My last gasp of consciousness registered the sensation of being shaken. _Wait._ “Simone,” I tried to say, but it came out so slurred it might as well have been a heavy breath. What was left of me pleaded with my addled brain. _WAIT._

. . .

_I’m not dead._

The bite of a monster headache.


End file.
